Over at NEOMARXISME, they have found an ad from an English school in Japan that asked Japanese people to complete the sentence, “If I could speak English, I would. . . ”

Here are some responses:

• I would live in Hawaii with lots of dogs.
• I would eat all the desserts in the world!
• I would buy the materials for aroma therapy and mix them myself.
• I would lecture the loud foreigners on the train.
• I would raise my children in America: one artist, one computer programmer.
• I would go work in a foreign marketing firm.
• I would start a dental office for foreigners.
• I would run a surf shop in the Gold Coast.
• I would live in a house where I could wake up and dive right into the pool.
• I would look for a job in California that would end in the evening and I could go to in shorts.
• I would do a satisfying amount of experiments at an American company that provided research money.
• I would become a wife of a foreigner and raise kids in California.
• I would watch DVDs without subtitles.
• I would become the world’s expert on the JFK mystery.
• I would lead global-level M&As and retire in my 30s.
• In the future, I would want to not be isolated from my friends in the Space Station.
• I would make all my subordinates Americans and start a hamburger joint with great atmosphere.