Pizza
I give you the newest creation by Pizza Hut Japan. Take a second, click on the image, and see what we’re dealing with. Just look at that crust, straining to hold in its meaty treasure.
The big red letters at the top say “Crispy baked sausage is delicious!” The white and gold at the bottom say “German King.”
And what is the secret of the German King’s deliciousness? That zoom in of the crustal cross section taps us on the shoulder and whispers it to us. “Delicious secret #1: the crust is full of sausage.” OK, but that really stretches the definition of the word “secret,” now doesn’t it. But there is another. “Delicious secret #2: beneath the ring of sausage is a layer of bacon. And tucked beneath that is a layer of cheese!” (emphasis mine)
Elaine Bennes once said, “It’ll be years before they find another place to hide cheese on pizza.” Well, it did take years, but the Japanese finally figured it out: under the bacon, which is under the sausage, which is in the crust.
But the German King is not the only pie to feature this miraculous crust. Sausage also incircles the Shrimp and Egg Land pizza, as if the shrimp and egg combo on a pizza wasn’t good enough. And as if the shrimp and egg and sausage and bacon and cheese combo wasn’t good enough, it has been slathered in smooth, rich, piping hot mayonnaise.
If I worked for Pizza Hut I would have called this the Sausage Colliding Pizzacle Accelerator.
Thanks for posting this, lifted my day.
Oh yes Pizza. “That’S-amu-rai” Yummy.
May 24th, 2006 at 2:49 pmApologies to Dino.
“Sausage Colliding Pizzacle Accelerator”
Ha! I love it. You should be in advertising. Just imagine what it does in your stomach.
May 24th, 2006 at 4:20 pmMmm… yummy, my kind of secrets!
May 24th, 2006 at 9:29 pm[...] I tried to brush my teeth but never could remove the blood stains Japundit: Elaine Benes once said, “It’ll be years before they find another place to hide cheese on pizza.” Well, it did take years, but the Japanese finally figured it out: under the bacon, which is under the sausage, which is in the crust. Behold the latest creation of Pizza Hut Japan. Here, sausage encircles a Shrimp and Egg Land pizza. As if the combo of shrimp, egg, sausage, bacon and cheese isn’t enticing enough, the pie is slathered in mayonnaise. —– I attended a book signing by Anthony Bourdain, chef, food writer and host of No Reservations, arguably the best non-fiction program on television. Bourdain drew five times the audience of Phil Keoghan, host of The Amazing Race, exposing which travel show Chicagoans prefer. To be fair, many in the audience were simply fawning restaurant employees. I’m always amazed at the inanity public Q&As attract. I probably wouldn’t be as tolerant as the interviewees I’ve seen. One man asked Bourdain, “Rabbits: pets or meat?” You have the attention of someone you admire and that’s what you ask? Another man told Bourdain that he home-brews sausage and that the prevalence of processed sausage dismays him. “How can we re-educate people about sausage?” [pause] “Abe Froman? Is that you?” I wanted to ask. 06.01.06 [...]
June 1st, 2006 at 3:07 pm[...] Japundit PizzaI give you the newest creation by Pizza Hut Japan. Take a second, click on the image, and see what we re dealing with. Just look at that crust, straining to hold in its meaty treasure. [...]
June 15th, 2006 at 10:41 pm