Apparently there’s now a DVD on the market that enables Japanese males to realise their dreams of scoring with blondes by teaching them certain choice phrases, according to the latest WaiWai (where else?).

Japanese men seeking knowledge of how to ask gaijin women for oral sex in the street in English can gain this for a mere Y19,400 for the two DVD set.

My favourite ever story of a drunken Japanese male approaching a fair-haired female former colleague of mine in a gaikokujin bar was his immortal line of “My dick is small, but very hard.”

Maybe the DVD isn’t such a bad idea, after all.