Another recommended useful site, Tokyo Art Beat is Tokyo’s bilingual art and design events calendar.

Just what everyone needs. . . a 23,000 yen tissue box.

Though this thing looks like a robot, it is not. The only purpose it is designed for is to dispense a piece of tissue whenever you shake its hand.

Available in white, silver, or red.

Via Popgadget

There must be any number of strange arcade games in Japan but this one is at least somewhat strange. But is it much different from the one you see (at least in movies or in the 19th century) on American fairgrounds–where you hit the thing with a sledgehammer and see if you can ring the bell at the top? The blogger, Brian Lam, who reported this particular game says:

The goal is simple: kick the living daylights out of the cabinet’s foam sensor. From skills developed in a former career, I earned the top score. After two of my best kicks, I’m unbelievably sore. The blogging life is not filled with regular exercise.

Via Gizmodo

This is a product that answers a definite need–telling you when noodles are cool enough to eat. Put the boiling water into the cup of noodles and place it on the device. It dings when your noodles are done and cool enough to eat.

But that’s all it does–it’s just a timer. It looks pretty much like the single-burner butane stove I’ve got on my boat, including a fuel lock switch, except there is no fuel and no cooking happening!

Even though it certainly looks more functional (see photos on the product page) it’s just a simple timer. Nothing more, even though has an LED light in the “burner” to glow and appear as if it’s actually cooking something. But even if it doesn’t do anything more than an egg timer would even though it looks like it might, it’s only $8 so probably worth it. As the source concluded: “kind of lame, kind of cool.”

Via Engadget.

Western writers, not to mention filmmakers, wrestle with two well-worn tropes when portraying Japan. There is the nightmarishly modern landscape with a youth culture that fetishizes things a bit too much, and whose inhabitants, if alienating and silly, at least benefit from a system of enviable efficiency. Other authors are so gob-smacked by Japan’s exotic beauty they hope Buddha himself will notice their “enlightened” sensitivity. In these stories we meet founts of inscrutable wisdom, repressed emissaries of human dignity, instructors of the perfect karate chop: nothing at all, in other words, recognizably human.

What a pleasure it was, then, for me to read a copy of Ellis Avery’s new novel, The Teahouse Fire set in 19th century Kyoto and published this month by Riverhead. Avery neatly resolves the dilemma of the “Western writer writing about beautiful Japan” through her choice of narrator. Plucky Aurelia, aged nine, accompanies creepy uncle Charles, the missionary, from New York to Japan in 1865. Vowing to do something about the icky adults in her life, Aurelia wisely prays at a Shinto shrine for help. The gods listen, but the new life they grant her isn’t necessarily good or bad. This is a Shinto divine intervention, after all, not a Christian one.

TOKYO (AFP) - Japanese romantics will have the chance to hear some truly flowery language with the help of a playful gadget purported to express the feelings of plants. Through the voice of a small doll, the device will share what the plant is supposedly ‘thinking’ when a person strokes it.The “Hanakotoba”, or “Communication Flower”, consists of a small rod topped with a fairy figurine that can be put inside a potted plant or vase of water.

When the owner touches the stem or leaves, a small electric current passes from the rod through a wire to a small doll.

“What a beautiful day!” the doll, wearing a green vest and cone hat, will say once the flower is touched, or “Let’s stay friends forever!”

Hanakotoba has up to 200 different phrases, some as potentially uncomfortable as “Do you have a boyfriend?”

The gadget, made by Japanese toymaker E-revolution, is the latest creation of Masahiko Kajita, who scored a smash hit in 2002 with “Bowlingual” — a dog collar said to interpret canine barking.

He said the Hanakotoba was meant to tap a female market.

“I created translators for cats and dogs, which were a big success among men, so I was searching for a similar success among females, and since women love flowers, I decided to work on them,” he said.

“This toy doesn’t use a single dirty or aggressive word, unlike Bowlingual,” he said.

But the plant can still become angry. If the device senses there is insufficient water, the doll says in a shrill voice: “Come on, what are you looking at? Give me more water!”

The toy was released this month at 4,179 yen (35 dollars) each and, if successful in Japan, will make its way abroad, the company said.

In case you can’t afford an expensive designer dog or just prefer cats anyway, the KT4560 Hello Kitty Stereo Clock Radio does just about everything. Apart from being an iPod docking station and charger for Mini or Nano, it also connects video iPods to your TV to show pictures and video, has the ability to wake you with tunes from your iPod, and also has an auxiliary input for other MP3 devices.

The LCD-faced clock also features an AM/FM radio, alarm functions, rotatable volume control, a snooze button, and of course a Hello Kitty with an iPod on top. An Engadget commenter says they cost about $50 and the Chip Chick says it’s one of the most practical Hello Kitty gadgets ever. Everyone seems to agree that it’s pretty useful and doesn’t sound half bad either.

Via Engadget

Now that Christmas is over and behind us, the cake has been eaten, the romantic evening is over with, its time to start focusing on the first, or last depending on how to see it, party of the year! That’s right, get your beer mugs out again because its time for a  Shinnenkai  新年会 party.

On New Year’s Day, a Shinnenkai party is traditionally held to welcome the arrival of the new year which is always accompanied by the drinking of alcohol. Lots of alcohol!

A Shinnenkai is generally held among co-workers or friends in early January and is VERY important particularly in business because its often the main opportunity to solidify relationships with clients and co-workers for the new year.

So of course, we here at Japundit are pleased to provide you with a Top Ten ‘How to Survive’ list for the 2006/2007 Shinnenkai season!

10.) If you think you may be slurring your Japanese, then your slurring a lot. If you think your slurring a lot, then you are not speaking Japanese anymore and no one will understand.

If you’re concerned that your life lacks a bit of Jesus, then fear not - perhaps He’ll be a candidate in your constituency come the next election.

Mr Mitsuo Matayoshi, or as He is also known (mainly to himself) ‘The only God Mitsuo Matayoshi Jesus Christ’ (唯一神又吉光雄・イエス・キリスト), is the leader of the World Economic Community Party (世界経済共同体党), and it’s His aim to take over Japan, and then the United Nations, and then there will be the Final Judgment according to Him.

You can see His stylish oratorical delivery in one of his party political broadcasts, and Chris Gunson captured one of His election posters in 2004, which urges then-PM Koizumi and anyone who doesn’t Vote Matayoshi to simply kill themselves.

As many of the biographical blurbs about Mr Matayoshi around the internet repeat (rather archly), He has “presented himself in many elections but he has not won yet”.

According to the the Yomiuri Shimbun, about 30 percent of pornographic comics for adults portray sexual acts involving children, according to a survey by the National Police Agency.

Because minors have little trouble buying such comics over the Internet, the NPA will ask comic publishers and related industries to take measures to help prevent such comics from being sold to them.

The agency took 100 samples from about 9,000 pornographic comics last month, and found 30 that included sexual acts with children. Five involved children of primary school age or younger.

Minors can buy these comics through Internet Web sites that do not verify the age of buyers. These comics also were available at convenience stores, and because they are covered in nontransparent wrapping, some children were not uncomfortable about being seen by store staffers when buying from the store staff or being seen by their family.

Subnote by Poster: I was going to attach an image to this article but after a brief search on google, I quickly realized how very easy it is to find images of the hentai manga in question… So I decided to leave it blank and without image.  

That’s the title of an article in yesterday’s New York Times that starts out: “Care for a Chihuahua with a blue hue? Or how about a teacup poodle so tiny it will fit into a purse — the canine equivalent of a bonsai? The Japanese sure do.”

Although rare dogs are prized in Japan and owners think little of paying more than $10,000 for them, rampant inbreeding has given Japanese dogs some of the highest rates of horrific genetic defects in the world, sometimes four times higher than in the United States and Europe.

The desirable traits like tiny sizes and weird colors are often the result of recessive genes, which can determine appearance only when combined with another recessive gene. And inbreeding is the quickest way to bring out recessive genes. But too many breeders throw caution to the wind when doing this with unfortunate effects on the poor poochies:

The demand is intense, and so is the temptation, said Hidekazu Kawanabe, one of the country’s top Chihuahua breeders. There are a lot of bad breeders out there who see dogs as nothing more than an industrial product to make quick money. Japan is about 30 or 40 years behind in dealing with genetic defects, said Takemi Nagamura, president of the Japan Kennel Club.

The article says that if people weren’t buying them the breeders wouldn’t make them and that the key lies in educating consumers. But it also says that the Japanese tend to be maniacs for fads and trends and there’s some interesting discussion of this. Like pink stuff:

Dogs are just one current rage. Less consequential is the big boom in the color pink: pink digital cameras, pink portable game consoles and, yes, pink laptop computers have become must-haves for young women. Last year, it was “bug king,” a computer game with battling beetles.

No reason to suppose there’s anything wrong with the dog in the picture, although it does appear to be kind of kawaii compared to the average junkyard watchdog. However, I do seem to be seeing a lot of ads for pink digital cameras lately?
Via The New York Times
Photo: Cute pekingese dog Uploaded 11/19/06 to Flickr by by porcojp

A report in the Mainichi has revealed that over the last year, “537 retired bureaucrats landed lucrative jobs in organizations they supervised.”

The government released details of post-retirement jobs of 1,263 division director-level or higher bureaucrats who retired over a one-year period until Aug. 15 this year.

A total of 537, or 42.5 percent, were given lucrative jobs at public utility organizations, public corporations and other semi-governmental bodies that they once supervised.

So it’s called ’supervision’ now…

The Hello Kitty Vibrator now has its own MySpace page.

Now is not the time for lame pussy jokes, even if it’s a slow posting period.

(12-26) 13:23 PST TOKYO, Japan (AP) –

A Japanese woman charged with inflicting injury on her neighbor by blasting rock music at her house for more than two years was given a 20-month prison term Tuesday, a court official said.

Miyoko Kawahara, 59, was sentenced by the Osaka High Court, revoking an initial ruling that had given her a one-year prison term, court spokesman Takanao Kawasaki said.

Kawahara in Heguri, Nara Prefecture (state) in western Japan, was accused of causing insomnia and headaches to her next-door neighbor by playing loud dance music almost 24 hours a day on a portable stereo she had pointed at her neighbor’s house, 20 feet away.

She was arrested on April 11, 2005. The two women had had a number of disagreements that police did not elaborate on.

“The defendant ignored calls by local authorities and continuously played music at a high volume for some 29 months,” Kyodo News agency quoted presiding Judge Hiroshi Furukawa as telling the court.

In handing down a longer prison term than a local court ruling in April, this year, Furukawa told the court that the defendant “still maintains a hostile attitude toward the victim and it is highly likely she will commit the crime again,” Kyodo said.

Doctors had diagnosed the neighbor as having insomnia and headaches they attributed to the noise. Kawahara started blasting the music in November 2002 and continued until her arrest.

Under Japanese law, those convicted of inflicting injury on another person face up to 10 years in prison and a fine of up to 300,000 yen ($2,520).

We just got work from the folks over at J-LIST that there are only a few more days left in their special Domo-kun sale that offers free shipping on Domo-kun products until the end of December.

Domo-kun is the mascot of Japan’s NHK television station, appearing in several 30 second stop-motion sketches shown as station identification during shows

Now is your chance to score some cool Domo stuff, most of which is totally out of production.

Remember — The sale lasts only until the end of December.

Click here for more information.

MY NIPPON has a rather humerous posting on “How to Seduce a Japanese Woman”.

Frankly most of what is written there is complete rubbish and should not be listened to. But it is worth reading if your really curious about what people actually think. Click here for the full article.

Now it is possible that what is posted on the site is accurate in some cases. For instance here is a quote:

* Since Japanese women do not typically admit that they wanted ‘IT,’ you have to help them believe it by coordinating events in a manner that it sounds like a coincidence or an inevitable event rather than planned. Some of the tricks are: missing the last train, too much alcohol, carried away by an overflow of emotions, etc.

Although the above may be true in some cases, I’ve always had a problem with guys thinking that way. Never the less its a different point of view. And who knows maybe some of the tips there will work for you…

Why is there so much white-collar crime in Japan?

Probably because it pays in terms of potential rewards if it goes undetected verses potential punishment if you are caught. A great illustration of this is the Aneha case that just wrapped up in the Tokyo District Court.

First some background:
Architect Hidetsugu Aneha confessed to and was charged with fabricating earthquake-resistance data on six condominiums and hotels since 1996 (out of a total off 99 structures also of questionable design), in order to cut costs and reduce construction time. He also allowed others to use his name to sign off on other substandard designs and lied under oath to government investigators.

The result was that buildings were constructed with fewer than the legally required number of steel reinforcement rods. Buildings constructed with fewer rods are at risk of collapsing in an earthquake with an intensity of upper 5 on the Japanese intensity.

People who live in Aneha condos have had to move out, losing the money they used to purchase their homes. His hotels have been shuttered.

The judge’s evaluation:

• Called the crime “vicious” and “unprecedented,” and one that endangered many lives.
• Said that Aneha needs to “grasp the gravity of the crimes he committed.”
• Said that Aneha was at the center of “one of the biggest scandals in the history of Japan’s construction industry.”

The sentence:
Five years in prison and a 1.8 million yen fine.

Others in the scandal who have been found guilty all have been slapped on the wrists with suspended sentences.

A little something to laugh those holiday hangovers away, The Simpsons Go to Japan is a must see.Another great clip is that of the infamous Mista Spakaru which I am sure you will all enjoy.

Of course the Simpsons have even done commercials in Japanese markets for such name brands as C.C. Lemon, a sweet juice like beverage. Take a look here for some great if not terribly frightning ads. Hope everyone is having great holidays!

South Park style. In Japanese. Kairu no baba wa supa bicchi. Heh.

Go here for the YouTube poster’s page for more South Park in Japanese.

A thank you to Jane Hamsher at Firedoglake for the initial linking.