A Bonenkai, for those of you not yet familiar with the term, refers to a year-end party. Often times, work places will throw one to celebrate and they are generally a good way for everyone in the company to look back at a year with a measure of pride in what was accomplished.

I have had the good fortune of celebrating these both in Japan and Ottawa, Canada. Even though the gaps between Canadian and Japanese cultures were different, both were a hell of a lot of fun as long as you know the rules! Especially when you love the folks you work with… But they can be a little confusing for someone not totally familiar with the tradition.

So here are some tips on how to survive your Bonenkai(s):

1.) In Japan, your boss is still your boss even if he’s at a party. Don’t try and chummy up to him like you might in North America or Europe just cause you’ve both been drinking. He may not mind but people will talk, and that’s just bad…

2.) Always make sure your boss has something to drink… And try to get him as drunk as possible. He’ll actually appriciate that.

3.) Eat, but don’t stand at the shrimp plate and dig in… The Japanese really hate it when we gaijin eat all their shrimp at office parties! (Trust me on this!)

4.) At least one colleague per party will confide in you that they are in love with the woman who works across from your desk or something like that. Bite your lip and say nothing!! It seems all my co-workers have always decided the year end should be a time to reflect on how much they’ve screwed up their love lives… Yeah trust me.. Bite your lip on this one! Especially if they tell you they are in love with your co-worker… Oh man what a disaster that can be in the new year if word gets out!

5.) Let the guys from the Kansai area tell all the jokes! Your Tokyo co-workers will almost never tell the first joke! It’s usually up the guys from Kansai to liven up a bit… Being a gaijin, you don’t wanna get in the middle of that unless you’re sure your joke will be a hit! Nothing kills the mood like a bad joke from a Gaijin even if you think you are popular. (We’re always less popular then we think we are!)

6.) Most people go to a new Bonenkai every night. Rule of thumb, don’t get super drunk on the first night… Always save your heavy boozing for the last possible party. You shouldn’t refuse an invitation even if you have a wicked hang over…

7.) Unwind! For the love of god, there is nothing worse then a stiff ass gaijin who sits in the corner nervously smiling pretending like he’s having fun. That’s what you do most of the year anyways. Relax, wear your jeans, put on your running shoes and unwind and let your natural gaijin personality shine! (If that requires a few drinks then so be it!) HOWEVER, please SEE Rule 10 before you act on this!!

8.) If invited to a Bonenkai at a friends house, always be polite and wear CLEAN socks. Honestly people!! All you’ll do is sit around, eat and drink. So for god sakes invest in some sparkling white foot wear!

9.) When celebrating at your in-laws house, always tell them EVERYTHING is delicious even if its not. Usually in-laws will cook up a storm including traditional soba noodles or U-don, wakame salada, meat balls, sushi… if you say something is “so-so” bad things usually happen.. (I think most of you know what I mean by this!)

10.) When at a party, DO NOT be all touchy-feely with the people around you. Even the guys aren’t sure how to deal with gaijin who laugh and put their arms around them or slap them on the back… Yeah its just creepy! Keep your hands to yourself and you’ll do fine! Though it is fun to watch stupid gaijin make everyone uncomfortable by acting loud and hugging all the girls and being all ‘rustle tusle’ with the guys…

That’s all for now! Am I missing any? Don’t forget to HAVE FUN and enjoy the crazy year-end whirlwind that is the Japanese New Year! …

… Ok now where the hell did I put that beer?