One of the most frustrating aspects of living in Japan is being told constantly that just about any circumstance, no matter how illogical, unfair, or easily eliminated, “cannot be helped” (shikata-ga-nai or sho-ga-nai).

Now we get word that Defense Minister Fumio Kyuma has applied shikata-ga-nai logic to the end of World War II, saying that the atomic bombing of Japan by the United States during World War II was.

“I understand that the bombing ended the war, and I think that it couldn’t be helped,” Kyodo News agency quoted Kyuma as saying in a speech at a university in Chiba.

Though Kyuma comes from Nagasaki, he is able to find a silver lining the way the U.S. ended the war in that it prevented the Soviet Union from laying claim to a piece of Japan.

Kyuma’s remarks drew immediate criticism from Japanese atomic bomb victims.

“The U.S. justifies the bombings saying they saved many American lives,” said Nobuo Miyake, 78, director-general of a group of victims living in Tokyo. “It’s outrageous for a Japanese politician to voice such thinking. Japan is a victim.”

In America, the bombings are widely seen as a weapon of last resort against an enemy that was determined to fight to the death but instead surrendered unconditionally, six days after Nagasaki was attacked.

Two in five young Japanese women talk to their personal computer, according to a survey by iShare and Sega Toys reported in Mainichi Daily News. Highlights of the study included:

• 40.5 percent said they talk to their computer.
• 59.2 percent said they talked to themselves too.
• Stress was a frequent trigger for both.
• Many felt “lonely” or “disgusted with themselves.”
• 10.2 percent of women gave their computer a nickname like Mac-kun, Princess, or Pudding.
• 42.9 percent decorated their computers and work areas, usually with stuffed toys.
• 63.8 percent said they did so because the toys made them feel better.

410 women in their 20s or 30s were surveyed to coincide with the launch of Sega Toys’ Kokechii, a doll resembling traditional Japanese kokeshi dolls, except that it talks to itself without being prompted. [Source: Talk to Me]

Photo: From J-Box (hope I wasn’t supposed to ask first or we are SO sued…) where many other cute kokeshi dolls are available–perfect to decorate your PC.

According to Associated Press, the world premiere of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, the fifth movie in J.K. Rowling’s series, had its world premier in Tokyo Thursday. The movie doesn’t play in the United States till July 11 and in Britain the next day.

Otaku were out in full force for the opening, many dressed up in witch costumes and holding magic wands. The hero, Daniel Radcliffe, remarked in simple language that “Japanese fans are the best!” No doubt.

And there is a new love interest in this one too since Harry Potter has his first kiss in it with fellow student Cho Chang (Katie Leung). You can barely make her out in the background of the poster… I think the swine is just toying with her affections…

But the fans must have been pleased with the whole thing, since the film opens as Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry is undergoing a gradual takeover by the bureaucratic Ministry of Magic and its emissary, Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Dolores Umbridge. Pretty mysterious stuff…

But there is no word in English yet about how well the film was received by the Japanese audience and whether it was dubbed or subtitled or something like that. Maybe somebody knows?

But, in that connection, I have a friend in Saitama who is originally Chinese but has lived there for 15 years. Taking the opportunity to babble on about the many Japanese movies I can obtain from weird and wonderful sources, she only remarks:

“Oh, I never watch Japanese movies usually–I pay for the Movie Channel and they’re almost all in English.” Can this be true?

Members of a community association in Fukuroi, Shizuoka Prefecture blocked the purchase of a plot of land by a Japanese-Brazilian man who is employed and who speaks Japanese, claiming that the purchase would endanger the local community because Brazilians are “prone to crime.”

The third-generation Japanese-Brazilian had planned to build a detached house on the plot in the Nagamizo district of Fukuroi.

But before he could sign the contract, a group of local residents who are members of the Nagamizo community association raised objections to the purchase after they learned from the realtor that the buyer was of Brazilian ancestry.

The group, which at the time comprised 12 households, notified the real estate company of its intention to stop the man from moving in, the sources said.
One resident, citing a perception that Brazilians are prone to committing crimes, said, “I feared that something might happen.” The woman alluded to a number of reports about Brazilians fleeing Japan to avoid prosecution for crimes committed in Japan.

Miffed at the rejection the man complained to the Fukuroi branch of the Shizuoka Legal Affairs, claiming that his human rights had been violated, and the bureau agreed with his contention.

But. . . This being Japan, having the law on your side may not necessarily guarantee you much satisfaction. In this case, though the regional legal affairs bureau agreed that the man’s human rights were violated, the only action they took was to tell the neighborhood association and the realtor that if a similar situation occurred in the future they should handle it better.

It seems that even though the legal affair bureau has the authority to identify violations of human rights, there is nothing in the law concerning the punishment of violators.

“The bureau’s function is to educate the public about human rights issues by pointing out what constitute violations of human rights,” [an] official said.

The head of the Nagamizo community association stated bluntly that non-Japanese are not welcome in the neighborhood. “Honestly speaking, we don’t want (Brazilians) to move into the neighborhood if possible,” the person said. “We need to think about how we should deal with similar situations if a Brazilian wants to buy a plot of land here in the future.”

Bill Belew of Rising Sun of Nihon writes to tell us of a new manga feature on his blog.

Three times a week he will be publishing a manga by Kan Shinoy called Ello Bello, with the dialog presented in both Japanese and English.

Go here to find out more.

Bruce Wright, the commander of U.S. forces in Japan, said at a news conference in Tokyo earlier this month that “the leak of data on the [Aegis] missile defense system Japan shares with Washington is a “serious problem,” and both nations must work together to improve security”.

And by golly Japan is going to take action. So what’s the policy going forward? Are they going to insist that officers are a bit more careful about how they swap their digital pornography? Are they going to check that no one in the MSDF’s using Winny on their computer?

No. According to the Sankei Shimbun -

The Maritime Self-Defence Force plans to gradually transfer from August some 10 officers who are married to non-Japanese nationals and who have access to high-level military secrets.

The Mainichi went further, quoting an unnamed ’senior official’ who said -

The move [to transfer MSDF members with foreign spouses] was intended to reduce the possibility of information being leaked to other countries. High-ranking MSDF staff members decided on the move, and reported the plans to Defense Minister Fumio Kyuma.

A little concerned this could be seen as discrimination in the workplace?

Addressing such fears, ministry officials reportedly decided to move people with foreign spouses during regular personnel reshuffling, and avoid directly stating the reason as being that they have foreign spouses.

Remember that Michael Jackson fan appreciation event in Tokyo a while back (see here, here, and here) where you got to spend a few precious seconds with the Gloved One if you ponied up enough cash?

Well here’s a report from someone (Part 1, Part 2) who actually paid the $3,500 and got to spend 30 seconds with the King of Ped.

Finally they started calling numbers to meet the man. You weren’t allowed to bring a video camera, but I had a digital camera that actually shoots pretty high-quality video. I thought, “Well, I have no idea what’s going to happen when I walk through that door, so I’m just gonna start filming now and go for as long as I can.” I held my camera to my chest in a vise grip. The door opened. It was so intimidating. There were like 15 bodyguards and handlers inside. A woman shuffled me into the tiny, brightly lit room and immediately stripped me of my coat, my purse and my camera—like, she really wrestled the camera away from me. I tried to explain that I just wanted to take pictures of him myself (but secretly film him), but they didn’t understand. They were like, “Oh no, together, together!” and literally shoved me over to where he was waiting. He was just standing in the corner like a little lost dog confined in a cage at the pound. When they pushed me I tripped over the white tarp paper and tore it a little. You can see it in the picture.

I stumbled and kind of fell into Michael Jackson. The bodyguards gasped but Michael just caught me and was like, “Oh hi, are you OK?” We shook hands and hugged and he felt very frail and skeletal. I’m a size zero and I felt fat next to him. And I’ll tell you, being so close to that face, that nose, that skin… I was mesmerized. He said, “I really like your shirt,” and he touched my t-shirt. That felt strange. Then he said that he liked my vampire teeth necklace and asked me if he could have it! I thought I had misheard him, so I just mumbled something like, “Oh! You know, actually, it’s really sentimental. Sorry!” Right then the guy holding my camera said “OK, 1, 2, 3,” and took a picture of us—just one picture—and then they shuffled me out and that was it.

It was the fastest 30 seconds of my life. I felt like a piece of trash being blown in the wind. One of the rules was that we were allowed to ask Michael one question—like he was some kind of oracle. “Michael Jackson, who will I marry?” In all the chaos of it though, I didn’t even think to ask him anything. I barely even spoke to him. I barely even treated him like a human being, because everyone else in the room made him seem like such an object.

I left immediately afterward. There were going to be performances of dancers doing “Thriller” following the meetings, but I had to get out of there. I felt crazy. Since I was the first person to leave, when I got outside the paparazzi swarmed me, shouting, “Did you meet Michael Jackson? Did you shake his hand?” They trailed me for an entire block and I got so freaked out, I jumped in a cab and spent $70 getting back to the hotel. We had gotten gift bags containing a bottle of champagne and an autographed photo of Michael, and the next day the cleaning lady in my hotel either threw mine away or stole it.

Still, I definitely feel like I got my money’s worth. He was actually really nice. I feel bad for him. I feel bad that there’s this human life who has such a foreign, caged experience of the world.

Thanks to Timothy Dombrovskis.

SunShine Co. Ltd., a security firm in Tokyo, is planning to market a home earthquake warning device from this coming October.

The size of a paperback book, the EQGuard accesses data from the early warning system network maintained by the Japan Meteorological Agency (JAMA) via the Internet and sounds a loud countdown up to 20 seconds before an earthquake starts.

According to SunShine, the countdown should give people warning enough to allow them to duck under a table, turn off fires, etc.

The appliance sends alerts once it detects primary waves, or the first waves of an earthquake that do not cause major rattling but travel faster than the secondary waves that are responsible for the actual shaking.

The alerts could precede the shaking by 10 to 20 seconds, although the period would be much shorter — and in some cases absent — if the tremor’s center is near.

I don’t know. . . To me it sounds like that old George Carlin routine in which he imagines a two-minute warning before we die. Two minutes before you check out, a voice goes off in your head, “You’ve got two minutes. . . Get your sh*t together. . .”

Via The Raw Feed.

Profession glutton, Takeru Kobayashi, may struggle to mount a defence of his U.S. title at the annual Nathan’s Famous 4th July hot-dog-eating competition, at Coney Island, Brooklyn. It’s been revealed that he’s suffering from arthritis in his jaw.

Kobayashi reportedly said “There’s no pain only if I open my mouth about enough for one finger”, so while he presumably might be able to slip the dogs in, the buns would present a more painful problem.

Kobayashi fans, rest assured that ‘The Tsunami’ is “receiving treatment at a hospital and from a chiropractor”. His United Food Fighters Organisation (seriously) said on its website that Kobayashi had found a good doctor and was “creating an environment in which he can dedicate himself to healing”.

Kobayashi will be understandably desperate to get back into the fray after his hot-dog-eating record was broken by American Joey Chestnut, who recently consumed 59-and-a-half frankfurters in 12 minutes. The two were to go head-to-head at Nathan’s, but that is now looking increasingly unlikely.

- Harvey

One for the borderline OCDs here. It’s known by many names. Some called it bubblewrap. Some, pillowflex. Some, ‘that plastic bubble stuff that they wrap other stuff in’.

But the fact is, whatever you want to call it, many of us find its lure irresistable. *pop* Nice. *pop* Yes. *pop* Can’t stop now…

Well if the previous paragraph has set you off on a downward neurotic spiral, then help is at hand.

Your friends at Bandai bring you - Mugen Puchi Puchi - everlasting portable bubblewrap! Click the link to see just how happy it could make YOU!

If you’re not yet convinced, consider what Trends in Japan have to say about Mugen Puchi Puchi.

You may think that popping bubbles is boring, but the toy makes a sound effect every 100 pops, including “door chime”, “barking dog”, “fart”, and “sexy voice”. To add even more excitement to the craziness of Puchipuchi, there’s a 1:1000 chance that you’ll get a “puchi lucky” toy that has a heart-shaped bubble.

A woman who has lived in Japan for the past four years has decided to return to North Korea because she missed her children and felt unwelcome in Japan.

At a press conference in Beijing, To Chu Ji claimed she had been cheated by “bad people” into leaving North Korea in 2003.

To said she was born in Japan in 1949 and given a Korean name for her father and a Japanese name for her mother. The family moved to North Korea in 1960, she said.

To said she had five children in North Korea but left them to cross the Tumen River into China where a waiting Jeep brought her to the Japanese consulate in the northeastern city of Shenyang.

Two weeks later, she was living in Matsudo, in the Chiba prefecture, where she said she led an isolated life. Telephone and letter exchanges with her children always ended in tears, she said, adding that she should go home to them instead of having them come to Japan.

North Korea claims that Japan and South Korea are abducting its citizens.

Japan passed a new set of laws that has made it very difficult to use an international license if you are residing here. Basically, if you are a resident, you must have been outside of Japan for at least 3 months before you can start using your international license. It is then good for a maximum of one year. However, if you leave the country and then come back in again within 3 months, that invalidates the license, according to the Fukuoka Police. If you have an accident, you may be arrested, fined 300,000 yen, refused permission to drive in Japan for a year, and your insurance company may refuse to pay out. This law is only sporadically enforced, so it is a question of whether you can risk it or not. I would have risked it, but for a new child, and an aggressively risk-averse spouse.

I was trying to steel myself for the inevitable failure, and repeated humiliation at the hands of sadistic bureaucrats. I had heard of people failing 15 times, each time costing several thousand yen and a pointless day away from work. To pass after the 2nd time was the equivalent of a gold medal I was told. The first time is there simply to humble the foreigner, so don’t even sweat it. Just go and fail so you can get the whole process started. Half the fun would be seeing what arcane reason they could come up with for failing me. Would it be chewing gum, wearing Old Spice After Shave (a very good reason, in fact), lifting my pinky off the wheel during a turn? I agreed to write about the experience, not only to help others, but to give myself some small reason to justify going through the gauntlet. So, I was ready. They might berate me, waste my time and money, test the limits of my emotional endurance, but in the end they would just be fueling my story which would be posted on the Internet to their great shame. Well, so I told myself. In the end, it worked out a bit differently than I had planned.

I got the license on the first try.

Well, evidently the gods and Japanese bureaucrats share a common sense of humor. I had achieved the impossible, but my great unwritten expose of the sadistic Japanese motor vehicle bureaucracy was squashed before I could turn on the laptop. It was as if Odysseus had gotten back to Ithaca in a day and half. “Odyssey” would have been English for “an uneventful daytrip.” My hopes of writing an epic dashed, I salvaged what I could from the wreck of ill-timed success and came up with a new title:

HOW TO GET YOUR JAPANESE LICENSE IN ONE DAY

If you are from certain countries, such as the UK and Canada, you can get your license without too much fuss and, more importantly, without a road test. This is probably because those countries are notoriously corrupt and have paid enormous bribes to someone in Tokyo, keeping dozens of bottomless shabu-shabu dens in business. The US government would never, under any circumstances, pay a bribe or even lift a finger simply to help their ex-pat taxpayers. They are far too busy for the likes of us.

Please remember that each testing center is different. I was tested in Fukuoka, and there is a chance of passing in one shot. An American woman had passed earlier that month I was told (with an odd leer, or maybe I imagined that). They are rather polite and helpful in Fukuoka, and seem to want most people to pass. This may not be the case everywhere. As far as I know, there may be testing centers where they want to see each and every applicant struggle until they break and throw themselves in front of a test car begging to be allowed to die.

STEP ONE: Study the links below:

http://www.unten.com/lesson/index.html
In Japanese, but with flash animations

http://www.globalcompassion.com/driving.htm
In English. I tried to e-mail them with no success. If I could I would post their info here as well, to save myself some writing. Instead, I’ll post the link as required reading. It worked for me. If somebody who knows them read this, please contact me.

Without these, I wouldn’t have had a chance. The road test is filled with quirky but specific requirements. Get it out of your head that it in any way reflects on your driving ability. What they are really testing is your ability to adapt to Japan.

STEP TWO: Look good.

I have to admit that I came with my 19 month-old daughter in tow, which is like packing 2 mega-tons of charm power. I know that using toddlers is a cheap trick, but her dad works hard and it’s the least she can do to help out. See if you can’t borrow a friend’s baby. If you can’t (”I loaned you a 2 year old last month, and you still haven’t returned him.”), then there are other ways to make yourself so appealing that the tester will not be able to resist passing you.

a) Be physically attractive. This is probably useless for the men reading this, as the testers are also men (though who knows?). In fact, this may be dangerous in general, if the tester is the romantic type, and fails you just so you can meet again. So, forget it.

b) Dress properly. Japanese law forbids driving with sandals, we were told, and one woman had to run to the shoe store before she could drive. Aside from legal requirements, it pays to dress as though you respect the people testing you. If you dress like you don’t care, they may assume you don’t care about getting the license either.

c) Be polite and friendly. If you are criticized or lectured by any of the testers, listen politely and thank them for their helpful suggestions, apologize even. This may sound a bit masochistic, but Japanese relations between superiors (the tester) and inferiors (sorry, but that’s you) can be a bit more rough than what we are used to. If they think you don’t respect them, you will certainly fail.

d) Act humble. Let them see that you are trying hard, and worried about failing. Don’t prance about as though it’s all a breeze. One guy did this while I was there, and he failed the perfunctory written test. Too bad, I would have loved to see him on the test track.

Still, it’s worth remembering that attitude is the most important rule you can follow, and will allow you to slip by with numerous other errors. The test is arcane in such a way that it is very, very difficult to complete without even one slip-up. If you irritate the tester, he will not have a problem finding fault. On the other hand, if you display the right attitude, you may be forgiven several mistakes, as long as they are not one of the major screw-ups (listed below). I made several mistakes (I drove in the right, rather than left, lane at two points, I held the steering wheel backhanded at one point, and I drove too near the center lane in general), but I still passed. A wise man once said, “The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you’ve got it made.”

STEP THREE: Don’t sweat the written test

It is very easy. 7 out of 10 questions will be common sense, and you only need 7 out of ten to pass. Study up on Japanese traffic rules if it makes you feel better. If you do fail the written test, there is no need to be ashamed - it was probably bad luck or something. Just don’t tell your friends, though. Loser.

STEP FOUR: Try to memorize the course before you drive it, as you will be fully occupied trying to impress the tester and don’t want any distractions. You will be given a map of the course, and will be able to view the course from where you wait.

STEP FIVE: Watch the other cars going through the course.

In Fukuoka, those converting a foreign license go last. Other drivers will be doing a more difficult test than yours, but they will use the same track. Observe how they drive. Watch how they turn, and watch when they use the blinkers. Watch how they stop, and for how long. Try to pick up all the details you can, and they will be fresh in your mind when you are tested..

STEP SIX: Use the practice lap.

You get one practice lap. If you’re lucky, the tester may give you a few tips while you drive it. Listen carefully, but don’t pry too hard. Technically, you are not supposed to talk to the tester too much.

STEP SIX: Use your imagination, and acting skills.

Though you may be the only one on the course, act as though you are on real roads filled with real traffic. You will need to drive carefully, and look around a lot. See all those imaginary cars, bikes and scooters out there? You should, because the tester does.

A few more hints….

GETTING IN THE CAR

1- Walk to the front of the car. Look forward and backward and make sure there is nothing in front of the tires. Exaggerate your movements so that the tester will actually see that you are looking. Don’t worry about looking ridiculous, just do it.
Then walk to the back of the car and repeat the same actions. Finally get ready to open the door (If you want, you can look under the car as I did. Can’t hurt.) Before you open the door, look again up and down the road and open the door partway. Don’t swing it all the way open, just enough to get in.

Place your left hand on the steering wheel as you get in. Keep your right hand on the door. Close the door slowly to within about 15cms of being shut. Pause and look to make sure someone’s head is not stuck in it, and then close it the rest of the way. Make your actions obvious to the tester, or all this silliness will be for nothing.

Now, fasten your seat belt. Then very obviously adjust the seat position. Do this even if it’s not necessary. Then check and adjust the mirrors. Even if they are fine, just wiggle them a bit and return them to the original position. Make sure the car is in Park, and the handbrake is on.

Start the engine while your foot is on the brake. Then adjust the side mirrors if you haven’t already done so. Release the handbrake, put the car in drive, and get started.

DRIVING

1- Remember to use your winker any time you turn, change lanes or merge. You will probably merge when you first pull onto the course. Turn the winker on as soon as possible in all cases, but not so far ahead that it is confusing.

2- Every time you approach an intersecting street, look both ways. Say “hidari OK” and “migi OK” if you have the time. If you have a lot of time, say “ushiro OK” for good measure. Say it out loud. It tells the tester that you are looking. If it’s all too much, just make sure you dramatically crane your head all three ways at all intersections and turns and mutter an occasional migi, hidari.

3- When you turn, don’t forget to look left and right, but also behind you, just in case a crazed kid on a scooter is coming up your flank (a real possibility in Japanese traffic).

4- Stay on the correct side of the road. This mistake happens more often than you might think. Driving on the wrong side is an automatic failure.

5- Don’t hit anything. If your car touches the curb, the gutter or anything besides the road, you are out.

6-Basically, stay in the left lane unless you are turning or passing. I don’t advise passing anything during your road test. If you are on an extra wide lane, stay to the left side of that. Driving too near the middle of the road will fail you.

7- When you turn left, first angle the car to the tight left side of the road, and then make a sharp, clean turn. A wide arcing left may fail you. When you turn right, first steer towards the middle of the road, but not over the center-line! Then make the turn aiming for the left lane.

8-Drive slowly. Drive painfully slow, in fact. There are no penalties for driving slowly, and you can use the extra time to make sure you turn on your winkers in time, look left, right and behind, and mutter “migi yoshi, hidari yoshi.”

9- Don’t brake while you are in a turn, unless it is one of those tight s-curves.

10- Make sure you stop with the car BUMPER behind the white stripe on the road. If the bumper crosses over, you foul out. Also be sure to stop within a meter of the stripe, so don’t be too cautious. Make sure you stop for a full 3 seconds at any stop sign or red signal.

STOPPING

This last bit is simple enough. Make sure you pull the handbrake when you park, and don’t hit the curb! If the tester lectures you, act contrite. If he fails you, don’t get angry. You may very well be testing with him again, and will need his goodwill. Acting slightly pathetic may help.

In Fukuoka, if you fail, you can go back the very next day and try again. Eventually, unless you are terrifically annoying, some tester will take pity on you and pass you. Maybe you can be the one to write the saga I had planned. But, since it is your time and money, I advise trying to get it right the first time.

If, on the other hand, you pass, please send me a suitably gracious e-mail. Gifts are also accepted.

Just remember – This is NOT a test of your driving skills, any more than tea ceremony courses test how efficiently you make tea. Think of this as another arcane Japanese ritual, where your attitude and respect for traditions are being tested, and you will do fine.

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Justin Diamond who runs a blog called The Life Nippon and who reported a while back on his Krispy Kreme adventure recently took a trip over to the newly opened Burger King in Tokyo.

Read about it here.

Jennifer 8. Lee, a reporter for the New York Times, has a new book coming out next March about Chinese food, titled “The Fortune Cookie Chronicles”.

On her book blog, she recently discussed an interesting new phenomenon: a hot new Chinese restaurant with a Japanese chef: Yuji Wayika.

Read the blog entry here.

NTT Docomo and am/pm Japan are going to start equipping Tokyo convenience stores with cellphone recycling bins, so that people can recycle their unwanted handsets. The recycling bins handle all makes and models and are designed to prevent theft.

According to the Pink Tentacle and MYCOM, Japan’s wireless providers have been recycling unwanted phones in their own stores since 1998. But that hasn’t been working as well lately:

In recent years, however, more and more customers are waiting to recycle their old handsets, as phones have grown more sophisticated and hold greater amounts of important data that users need to access after switching models. Most users eventually decide to dispose of their phones, though, so NTT is hoping they will make use of these recycling bins, which will initially be set up at eight convenience stores in central Tokyo.

Considering that there are many many millions of cellphones in circulation and that people only keep them for a few years, this seems to be a good idea. In 2005, NTT apparently harvested 37,993 kg (42 tons) of copper and 145 kg (320 pounds) of gold from the old phones. Hole not big enough to accommodate babies–old cellphones only. [EBT]

Check out this video that documents a man’s trip from San Diego to Tokyo. . . In 10 short minutes.

Thanks to go55man.