I don’t know my own kids
I have a rather strange problem: I don’t know my own kids. Or rather, I know the half that speaks Japanese, that works diligently on homework and reads books or plays video games in Japanese.
The English-speaking side of my children is something I’m less familiar with, for the main reason that my kids are unable to function naturally in English when my Japanese wife or I am around. One thing I’ve learned from becoming bilingual is that once you have a certain “language relationship” with someone, it’s almost impossible to change later on.
I speak Japanese to my wife but English to my kids, however everyone speaks Japanese back to me, and no amount of pretending to not understand will get my kids to switch to English — kind of like Han Solo and Chewbacca, conversing in two different languages at once. That’s why we send our kids to the U.S. every summer, so they can get a good dose of fun American culture and speak lots of English.
I hear reports from my family about how open and outgoing my kids are, using English just as naturally as if they’d been born in the States, but I never get to see it for myself since if I am around, everything reverts to Japanese.
Since a person’s personality in one language can be quite different in another, I feel as if there’s a big part of my own children I’m unable to know.
Poor Mari….she’s my favorite. If I ever become a j-pop singer and part of the...
Shes definitely at the top of my hot list.
perfeckt 10:10
As someone who has been there and done that, Peter, all I can say is I feel your Payne.
August 21st, 2008 at 12:59 amI’d say don’t sweat it, considering they live in Japan most of the year right? Keep going with the English though and they’ll (obviously) have an easy time with it in school and won’t have any inhibitions about traveling to English speaking countries. Or, here’s an idea: I just got back from a student exchange in Japan which forced me to speak Japanese and my host to speak English. Maybe you should encourage your kids to host some English speakers and then they won’t have a choice =P.
August 21st, 2008 at 2:04 amPeter,
Don’t mean to intrude on your private life, but purely out of curiosity – does your children look more asian or look or more caucasian? I hear it’s a “no-no” for half Japanese people (esp. if they are quasi-famous) to reveal their multi-racial identity. Some children get made fun of at school. On the flip side – I hear about other groups being fascinated by the beauty of mixed Japanese.
August 21st, 2008 at 5:25 amMy son is a little more Japanese looking, and my daughter is a bit more American. Sometimes my son can “cloak” his American side, and my wife was (for some reason) happy when I showed up on parents’ day and his teachers said, oh Kazuki, you’re half American, I had no idea. Yes, there are two sides to being haafu — often, it’s cause for a special status.
(I am half British and half American, but I never got anything special ^_^).
August 21st, 2008 at 10:00 am“My son is a little more Japanese looking, and my daughter is a bit more American.”
Not trying to be negative or pedantic here or anything, but I think that it would be more accurate and descriptive to say “bit more white” (at least, I assume so from your name) at the end of this sentence. It’s probably safe to say that your son looks just as “American” as your daughter.
August 21st, 2008 at 10:24 amI live in the border with USA and people usually thinks that I can practice english anytime but in california is very easy to speak spanish, I need to travel several hours to make myself speak english.
My parents always say they know my brother and me better than we know ourselves but there’s always a hidden other-me, actually it isn’t hidden, it’s just unnecessary, anyway parents know more than anybody… and sometimes it can be scary :S
August 21st, 2008 at 12:56 pmPeter,
I don’t know whether EC has shown you a photo of my two lads..but Arden and I..in the spirit of renewing a conjugal relationship (so-to-speak) undertook a European trip about 5 months ago…
Now, for all practical purposes I had/have lost my ability to speak, my eldest son (Osa) wouldn’t know what day of week it is, and only speaks about 50 clumsy words of eigo..and Stomby my youngest son, has never been exposed to any sort of English “Kulcher’ or is interested either in speaking it.
Can you imagine what it was like in Ghent?
Can you imagine what it was like in Singapore?
Can you imagine what it was like in Paris?
Can you imagine what it was like in Basle?
Hey! it was like National Lampoon Griswaldy Horriday!
but I had fun..Arden bought some wonderful clothes..they kids saw some things that will stay with them for the rest of their lives (I hope).
I work on a day-to-day basis with a collective United Nations of Engineering Expertise plus Scientists – we communicate in Numbers & Concepts…
*Culture means nothin’*
remora
August 21st, 2008 at 7:55 pmPeter,
as you and I both frequent the Kanto Plane a little bit…going from Maebashi to Chiba (Narita) and then eastward to the States (LA) and then back to rural Gunma every 12 months must a bit of a Head-Trip for a Young Person like your son..culturally yo-yo-ing around must a have a bit of a potental psychic risk..don’t you agree?
As a child I basically did not go to school between the ages of 9 and 12..its a miracle I even got a formal education..
I would say – take stock – assess the situation or what do you want? Military Brats moving from Base to Base..Country to Country..Continent to Continent..
I’m losing my temper.
remora
August 21st, 2008 at 10:06 pmRYO, you are right. I was referring to American in the context of my own white butt.
Remora, interesting comments. So is Japanese your kids first English? In general I think we’re okay, I understand the concept of being too in between cultures. I had a boss’s wife who was essentially 50% American and 50% Japanese (and 100% ditzy), with the result that neither group wanted her on “their” side. We aim for 70-75% Japanese, 20-25% American, so they’ll know both Fist of the North Star and Star Wars, Gundam and Kids Next Door.
They just got back today, and had fun (***3*** days in Disneyland? I never got that when I was a kid). I know from experience that they’ll speak English for a week then slowly revert. Oh well, it’s all inside when they need it ^_^
August 22nd, 2008 at 1:03 amBi-cultural or not, raising kids is a crapshoot. The most that can be expected of parents is that they do their best, in hopes that things turn our all right in the end.
August 22nd, 2008 at 2:13 amPeter and EC – good food for thought – Thanks
rem.
August 22nd, 2008 at 5:13 amPeter, are you spending a lot of time with your kids ? I usually take them out one day on the weekend (my wife’s also happy to have some time of her own). Also watching movies or reading books together might help, where would they learn otherwise about ‘Harry Potter’ or Indiana Jones (or realize those guys sound funny in Japanese)
August 22nd, 2008 at 11:03 amOh, we do a lot — watching TV together, studying in the bath (long story, but the bath is a great place for those Brainquest cards), plenty of quality time up in Karuizawa on the weekends, although as time goes by the kids are getting busy and want to hang out with their friends. We did the whole Harry Potter series together, too, although I’m trying to make my son read the final book by himself. (He can do it, it’s just the size of the book that’s daunting to him.)
August 22nd, 2008 at 6:09 pm