And so we say farewell to yet another Minister of Agriculture. It’s often said there’s a revolving door at the Min of Ag., and it’s really been on a spin recently.

The Shinzo Abe administration saw 3 Ministers. You wouldn’t have thought there was time, but surely there was. Toshikatsu Matsuoka, who committed suicide in May of last year, was succeeded by Norihiko Akagi. He lasted all of 60 days but you’ll remember him as the chap who turned up at a press conference with an unshaven and bandaged face, looking like he’d taken the wrong route home.

Masatoshi Wakabayashi then warmed the Ministry seat for about three weeks before Takehiko Endo took over officially. Mr Endo then made Akagi look like a stayer by resigning after a mere 8 days in office. Mr Wakabayashi was called back for his second stint in a fortnight.

Seiichi Ota took over the reins at the beginning of August. And today he’s decided to take responsibility (as is the ministerly tradition) for the tainted rice scandal by buggering off and doing nothing at all to help clear up the mess. Very noble, I’m sure.

That’s 6 ministers in 16 months if you’ve lost count. At this rate, within a few years, we’ll all get a go at being the Agriculture Minister.

A longtime Japundit reader alerted me to an important beauty treatment now available at New York’s Shizuka salon, a place I went to once in search of a Japanese-style manicure.

a high-end Japanese spa in midtown, has just introduced a new “Geisha Facial,” which promises to cleanse, brighten, and exfoliate a patron’s face—thanks to a secret ingredient: bird poop. For centuries in Japan, both Kabuki actors and geishas used uguisu no fun, or nightingale droppings, to clean off their thick white makeup and soothe their faces; apparently, guanine, found in the droppings, helped their complexions.

Hopefully the bird droppings are not collected from the upper reaches of Hokkaido.

Vanity, after all, can make you sick.

Spam emailers have discovered that eating seaweed can miraculously rid women between the ages of 25 and 54 of the roll of fat around their middlesection.

Just take a couple of sea-weed tablets every day, and perhaps you too will see your weight plummet, so you too can join the ranks of women who enjoy the lowest rate of obesity in the world!

Personally, I’ll stick to weekly misoshiru and some nice sunomono with wakame.

Uguisu photo via.

One thing that Japanese politicians are always hoping to avoid, but are always causing, is ‘confusion’. And with Golden Week and the end of April approaching, Japanese motorists are getting reading for some ‘major confusion’.

Except of course, there is no confusion in the literal sense. It’s an absolute certainty that petrol prices are going to go up. And by more than a little.

The government are working to reinstate the so-called temporary petrol tax that ‘ran out’ at the end of March, leading to a drop in pump prices of ¥20-25. If they succeed, it’s likely to be slapped back on at the beginning of May. The beginning of May also coincides with Golden Week, when Japan goes on holiday en masse, and traditionally gets shafted by a pre-Golden Week price hike at petrol stations anyway.

When the ¥25 tax was removed at the beginning of April, prices round here fell, at the very most, by ¥20, and consumers waited for 3-5 days to see the benefit, as retailers waited to ‘finish stocks of petrol bought at the higher, taxed price’. Even so, there were grumbles from petrol retailers about projected losses.

With the start of Golden Week, the Japanese consumer can expect to get a three-way shafting - the now traditional ¥4-5 Golden Week hike, the continuing rise of global crude prices, and the reinstatement of the tax. And when the tax comes back, will it be (as cynics like me suspect) at a full ¥25 even at stations that only reduced prices by ¥20 or less? There’s potential for the added confusion of when retailers choose to readjust the tax/price - selling petrol that they bought at the lower price, will they maintain the lower price while they still have stock (just as they maintained the higher prices until they’d sold all their higher priced stock a month ago), or will that tax go back on the second it can?

Assorted media are mentioning prices of ¥160 or higher. For comparison, my nearest petrol station is currently selling at ¥122, so we’re talking about a rise of over 30%.

Will all this be enough to enrage the traditionally docile Japanese consumer? The pre-Golden Week price hike is the most interesting part of the equation. Just as everyone prepares get in their cars and go off on holiday, the petrol prices are raised. Every year, like clockwork, the captive audience gets shafted. And does little more than quietly grumble, and acquiesce and pay up. After all, what’s the alternative - vote for change, or something equally mad?

Many have used it. Some have got away with it. I remember kids at school busting out the “My grandmother died” excuse to explain absences. It never occurred to me they might be lying until it emerged that one lad experienced the loss of three grandmothers in quick succession.

An Osaka tax inspector has resigned after apparently claiming compassionate leave for deaths in his family on 11 occasions, the Mainichi reports.

Each time, he stayed home in order to cure his backache. “It was too much hassle to get a medical certificate for sick leave,” he was quoted as telling his bosses.

His bosses discovered the scam when he told them in September last year that his grandmother’s funeral was being held at a funeral hall, which was found not to exist.

On investigation, his bosses discovered 10 more false claims between 2004 and 2007, in addition to which, “the man also went home on 11 other occasions in 2006 and 2007 by faking business trips.”

Peter wrote earlier today how Japan is a very cash-based society. Underlining that point, a story has been reported which is not unusual in itself except in its sheer magnitude.

Hearing that someone in Japan has a fortune in cash stashed somewhere about their house is relatively common. There are various reasons for this, one of which is the poor return on savings with banks with interest rates close to zero.

But two sisters from Osaka were hiding their wealth from the taxman, it’s reported. They are suspected of “hiding about 5.93 billion yen inherited from their father, who founded a group of eight firms including real estate leasing and loan companies.”

That comes out to about US$57,000,000. In cash. In their house.

After investigators found “more than 5 billion yen in cash [which] was found in cardboard boxes in a garage”, one of the sisters fessed up, the other said she had “forgotten about [the] cash kept in her home.”

They are charged with “evading about 2.86 billion yen [US$28 million] in inheritance tax, the highest figure for a case involving inheritance tax evasion recorded in Japan”.

The claim of a 21-year-old Japanese woman in New Zealand that she was dragged into a van and gang raped has been proven to be a lie in an attempt to gain the attention of her ex-boyfriend.

Chie Ikee , 21, of Matamata, appeared in the Hamilton District Court yesterday afternoon and admitted one charge of making a false complaint.

Ikee said she was distraught at the end of her relationship and she was trying to get sympathy and attention from her ex-partner. Despite Ikee’s plan to return to Japan on Monday, Judge Barry Morris convicted her and imposed a one-year suspended sentence.

The woman is planning to return to Japan soon, no doubt much to the relief of her ex-boyfriend.

These days it is hard to open a magazine or turn on the TV in Japan without seeing an ad about one product or another claiming it will make you healthier, thinner, hairier, or prettier, all in the comfort of your own home.

The president and six other employees of a company that has been cashing in on the health and beauty product boom here have been arrested for selling expensive bracelets they falsely claimed would improve blood flow.

Police suspect the group sold bracelets to about 8,200 people, including many elderly buyers, in 39 prefectures across Japan between January 2004 and April this year. The suspects are believed to have raked in about 2.45 billion yen from sales of the bracelets.

Investigators said the group held sales of clothing and daily goods across Japan. They allegedly took blood samples from customers before and after they wore the bracelets and showed them the results of “tests” through a microscope. By pushing down on a glass plate that held the “after” sample, they made it appear as if there was more space between blood cells, to give the impression that the person’s blood was flowing more smoothly, police said.

Advice to those looking to buy health and beauty. . . keep your money in your pocket and go for a walk.