After the dreadful knife attack in Akihabara last week, it was discovered that the killer had announced his intent on an internet message board, but his threat was not taken seriously.

Well anything in that vein is being taken very seriously now. On Monday, police made two unconnected arrests of idiots posting online death threats.

Yo Suzuki, 29, of Hamamatsu, Shizuoka prefecture, was arrested after posting his intent to “to unleash an attack to ‘kill 100 people’ on the streets of Tokyo’s Ikebukuro district” on the 2-Channel bulletin board.

“I saw the TV coverage of the case in Akihabara and thought I’d create a bit of a stir,” Suzuki told the police, referring to the June 8 case where a random killer’s rampage on the Akihabara district of Tokyo claimed seven lives.

“I did it half as a joke,” he said.

Meanwhile in Fukuoka, a 17-year-old girl was arrested after using the same message board as Akihabara killer Tomohiro Kato, to threaten -

I intend to carry out a massacre at a station in Kyushu which will go down in history. I’m the same as Kato. I feel sympathy for him. I will be executed because I will kill more people than he did.

She too later claimed, “I was just joking. I didn’t imagine it would turn into such a big deal.” Well you got that wrong then didn’t you.

A longtime Japundit reader alerted me to an important beauty treatment now available at New York’s Shizuka salon, a place I went to once in search of a Japanese-style manicure.

a high-end Japanese spa in midtown, has just introduced a new “Geisha Facial,” which promises to cleanse, brighten, and exfoliate a patron’s face—thanks to a secret ingredient: bird poop. For centuries in Japan, both Kabuki actors and geishas used uguisu no fun, or nightingale droppings, to clean off their thick white makeup and soothe their faces; apparently, guanine, found in the droppings, helped their complexions.

Hopefully the bird droppings are not collected from the upper reaches of Hokkaido.

Vanity, after all, can make you sick.

Spam emailers have discovered that eating seaweed can miraculously rid women between the ages of 25 and 54 of the roll of fat around their middlesection.

Just take a couple of sea-weed tablets every day, and perhaps you too will see your weight plummet, so you too can join the ranks of women who enjoy the lowest rate of obesity in the world!

Personally, I’ll stick to weekly misoshiru and some nice sunomono with wakame.

Uguisu photo via.

in an apparent chemistry experiment gone awesome, a 14 year old girl managed to not only to give herself considerable trouble breathing, but forced an evacuation of her apartment complex. according to police this is only an isolated incident in a series of similar experimentation through out the nation. driven to recreating this inspiring chemical reaction by educational websites around the world, many japanese both young and old are racing to combine household cleaning products in order to artificially create the chemical responsible for odiferous flattus.

when reached for comment about how and why so many people around japan would be performing their own trails with household cleaning chemicals when the results, in addition to being well known, are also so stinky; the head of a tokyo based group specializing in this field gave this observation…

“It’s easy, and everyone can do it,”

finally a family friendly way to introduce the children to the wonders of science through empirical observation of molecule creation. think of how little taro’s eyes will light up when you tell him you’re going to show him how to create a smell like a bad fart in an enclosed space. that rebellious and angsty girl airi will finally find something she could do when she is alone. your spouse could learn a good prank to pull next time you forget your anniversary. why not just surprise everybody and do it yourself? it just takes one’s breath away when considering all the people that could benefit from testing this home school biochemical reaction.

just remember for the sake of your neighbors, please put up a notice like the one listed in the article. it is always good to let the people living around you know that might not want to partake in your pursuit of knowledge that they may need to keep a wide berth. sort of like a mythbuster’s “science content” warning.

A junior high school in Yamanashi prefecture has come in for sharp criticism after its graduating class’s yearbook ranked students in a number of unusual ways.

The light-hearted rankings are made up every year by the final year students, but this year’s pushed the boundaries of good taste, according to a report in the Mainichi.

Among the rankings were “Person most likely to be living under a bridge”, “Person most likely to marry a foreigner” and the one that really kicked off the fuss, “Person most likely to burn down the Prime Minister’s residence”.

“It was intended as a joke, but it was inconsiderate,” a school representative was quoted as saying. The school apologized to students whose names were listed, but did not withdraw the book.

Remember that fun discussion we had a week or two ago after overoften wrote about changing the paper on the shoji in his house?

JAPUNDIT reader and U.S.-based Japanese-style woodworker Len Cullum related how he made a single-frame sheet for an elderly Japanese woman because she derived to much pleasure wetting her finger in her mouth and poking it through the shoji paper as she did as a young girl.

From there it wasn’t long before we started getting whacky ideas about how this might be a great product, similar to those pads of bubble wrap you can buy to snap away your cares.

Well. . . Len has raised the whole discussion to an entirely new level.

Japundits and Japundettes. . . Courtesy of Len Cullum, we are happy to bring you. . .

hmmm…

NSFW

Pesticide found inside ‘gyoza’ package recalled from Osaka store

Was the pesticide recalled because it failed to kill its victims. . . ?

Kyodo News headline found here.

Authorities around the work have been shocked by a recent upsurge in assaults with deadly food items.

Recently in the U.S., a man was arrested for stabbing another man in the neck with a pork chop bone during a food fight.

Police in Ardmore, Oklahoma responded to call of a fight outside a local business New Year’s day. When they arrived, they found the victim covered in blood with a puncture wound to his neck.

Police arrested the suspect, 38-year-old Tony Willis a few block from the crime scene. According to authorities, Willis had blood on his clothes and they found the bone used in the attack.

In Japan, a man was arrested for attacking a security guard with a frozen king crab after he was caught trying to shoplift the spindly creature.

Police say that the 64-year-old unemployed man pinched a king crab from a freezer in the supermarket in Hakodate, Hokkaido, on Christmas Eve, hid it under the back of his jacket, and walked out of the store without paying for it.

“He was hunching his back so that he wouldn’t drop the crab. But the collar of his jacket was sticking out, apparently because of the crab’s legs,” investigators told the [Yukan Fuji].

The store’s security guard noticed the man’s strange posture and attempted to question him. The would-be thief suddenly threw his frozen booty down on the floor and tried to flee.

The guard screamed, “Don’t you run away!” prompting the man to pick up the crab again and brandish it at the security guard. The man then charged the guard, jabbing the jagged legs of the crustacean into his Adam’s apple.

The seafood samurai was soon overpowered by a group of supermarket employees who had rushed to the scene. The guard was fortunately not injured in the crab-jabbing.

JAPUNDIT would like to go on record here and now as saying that we do not believe the dietary needs of people need to be considered very much when it comes to controlling deadly food items. Pork and crustaceans are things people basically should not possess, and authorities should not hesitate in controlling them.

Thanks to Mr. Pink for contributing

Chief Cabinet Secretary Nobutaka Machimura said that he “definitely” believes UFO’s exist, perhaps in a subtle dig at the new fingerprinting scheme in place at airports for all aliens, resident or not.

While the government did not provide any concrete plan for fingerprinting aliens arriving by UFO, they did say they would keep “a vigilant watch over Japanese airspace and are ready to scramble fighter jets to intercept suspicious airborne objects.” Apparently, the palace shaped UFO below slipped through during no-pants shabu-shabu hour.

There has been no report on the human seen being abducted by the turret-like alien appendage.

Chopsticks are a staple of life in Japan. And as with almost every aspect of life in Japan, there is a correct way, and there are any number of incorrect ways which will show you up as an uncultured and uncouth oaf.

Just a note to let anyone who is interested know that the BJ-league will be holding tryouts in January.

To qualify, you must be able to demonstrate physical strength and individual skills. . .

Bowing, as I’m sure you know, is immensely important in Japan. And getting it right is fraught with danger. Avoid social calamity by taking in this tutorial from the ‘Japan Culture Lab’.

News report of residents of Modesto, California turning out to view the annual Ninja Parade. As usual, the ninjas passed by undetected.

Ninja Parade Slips Through Town Unnoticed Once Again

Microburst Gust Pushes Parasols Up?
Portable Satellite Dishes Debut?!
Kansai Company Discounts Imperfect Umbrellas?!!

NHK News report (in Japanese)

One person’s take on how the Beijing Olympic logo was created.

Politics watchers all over Japan have been shocked by the first week of the new Fukuda administration, which has been completely unmarked by any form of controversy whatsoever.

Even the revolving door at the Ministry of Agriculture appears to have stopped spinning. When asked how the new Agriculture Minister had managed to hold on to the particularly slippery job for over a week, a ministry insider was quoted as saying “He must be lost somewhere in the building.”

“We’ve been watching the exits,” said an anonymous senior journalist, “but the silence is eerie.” After the fireworks of the Abe government, observers are growing suspicious after this week’s lack of resignations. “We can only hope that things settle back in their usual pattern next week, and that the ministerial exodus starts up again,” he added.

With no daily cabinet dismissals to report, the morning news programmes and daily newspapers have been caught on the hop and have had to content themselves with the last resort of reporting international affairs.

Many people laugh at the notion of fan death, but this report out of Tokyo proves that it is indeed for real.

In a report about the recent Adult Treasure Expo in Chiba, The Malta Star says: ” It’s not everyday that the Japanese visit a sex fair. . .” Whoever wrote this apparently has never been to Shinjuku or Shibuya.

JAPUNDIT contributor Kaishin provides some hilarious workarounds at his Neo Samurai blog when some recently announced hot products are not available in your area.

DIY Ice Cucumber Pepsi

DIY iPhone